The idea of starting this blog was to not only share my own story but also to give a voice to those who cannot share their stories. Before I do this I want to highlight that I will not be using the real names of people who I met in hospital but the stories I will share are very real.
The first person I would like to talk about it someone that I hold very close to my heart and think about very often. Her name was Annie. Annie was in her mid 50’s, she was someone that nobody really had any time for, she quite visibly needed help and support. I didn’t have much to do with Annie for the first few weeks that I was in hospital but I had picked up on some of her behaviours. Annie used to pace up and down the ward all through the day and all through the night, it was as though she found it physically impossible to stop moving. She used to talk to people that nobody else could see and often became quite distressed. She caused no bother or harm to anyone but she was quite clearly unwell.
The first time I properly spoke to Annie was when she asked me if she could have some of my drink in a cup, of course I said yes and from that moment on we formed a friendship. When I began speaking to Annie she told me of the life she used to have, she had a partner and a family, she enjoyed eating at restraunts and listening to live music. Annie didn’t quite understand why she was on the ward and she had no idea how long she had been there. Annie was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and had been on the ward for a number of months. During my 6 week admission Annie did not have a single visitor.
Annie used to wear the same clothes everyday, she told me her belongings had been lost along with her bank card and her money. One day I went to the local supermarket and I bought her a couple of outfits so she was able to wear clean clothes. When I gave these to her, her reaction was as if she had won the lottery, I have never seen anyone more grateful for a few pairs of leggings and a few tops. At first Annie did not want to take the items because she had no way of paying me for them but I told her that really was not an issue and if there was anything else she needed all she had to do was ask. That is where our friendship began.
Annie was in no way greedy and was always so grateful for anything she was given, if she ever asked for anything she made a list of how much these items cost because she wanted to pay me back. Annie started to spend more time out of her room socialising once our friendship was formed. When she told me about her love of music I began letting her borrow my phone, I showed her how it worked and she would listen to music for hours at a time. It brought her so much joy. Members of staff were shocked when they saw Annie out of her room socialising and asked how I had managed it. In reality all I had done was spend time with her, time was something that a lot of the staff just didn’t have.
My friendship with Annie continued. We would talk at length everyday. She would ask me about Archie and my family while we shared fizzy drinks and chocolate. Annie had only one pair of shoes and her feet were sore, I gave her a pair of my trainers and she never took them off. I asked Annie her favourite foods and one night we ordered a curry to share and again she couldn’t be more grateful. If ever I was having a bad day Annie would always come to find me to make sure I was ok, She knocked on my door every evening to come and say goodnight. She was such a kind hearted genuine person but no one had ever had the time to get to know her.
One day Annie knocked on my door and she was so excited. She had managed to get £100 from her bank account and could not wait to pay me back. I didn’t take any money from her because that isn’t why I helped her but it was the first thing she thought about as soon as she received the money. Annie was finally able to pay for her own things and this gave her so much joy and a sense of independence, she was constantly trying to treat me whenever she could.
But the sad truth is when the time came for Annie to be discharged from hospital she would again be alone. She would have no one fighting her corner, no one supporting her in the outside world. And the likelihood would be that eventually she would be again admitted back to hospital in the future.
When Annie was alone she didn’t have a voice but with a friend by her side she grew from strength to strength. I think about her often and really hope she will one day be able to live the live she deserves.
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