I would like to share the story of somebody else that I met during my hospital admission. This person was the definition of do not judge a book by it’s cover. Joseph was probably in his late 50’s. To give context to Joseph I would say that if he was walking towards me in the street I would have crossed the road to avoid him. After getting to know Joseph I am ashamed that I judged him before getting to know him properly. He could often be misunderstood but he honestly had the kindest heart.
Joseph was an alcoholic, when he was drinking his mental illness was greatly affected by this. But when Joseph was sober he was a different person altogether. I met Joseph when he was sober, however, as time went on I did see the affects of alcohol take their toll on him. The first time I met Joseph he came walking towards me and said ‘Oi you – you like walking to the shop can you get me a £10 mobile top up voucher’ and handed me his card. He then continued ‘get yourself a drink or something but don’t take the piss because I will know straight away’. Joseph was loud, abrupt and straight to the point which was often taken in the wrong way. But he was harmless, funny and as I became to learn very caring.
Joseph soon became a friend of mine. He had no teeth in the front of his mouth, a limp and always wore the most bizarre clothing which was a great conversation starter. I would help him with things on his phone because quite frankly he didn’t have a clue what he was doing. I would text people for him, order him things that he needed and whatever else he decided he wanted to do! I would also grab him whatever he needed from the shop as he wasn’t very mobile.
I spent a lot of time with Joseph – talking and learning to play games that he taught me, some of which were definitely made up. But he was good company and never failed to put a smile on your face. Joseph looked out for me – he rang my phone to wake me up if he thought I had been asleep for too long!!! He would encourage me to eat which is something I really struggled with when I was in hospital. He was always trying to give me money if I didn’t have what I needed, of course I always declined but he was thoughtful and caring. Joseph unlike many others did have a supportive family around him – his elderly dad and his sister and her partner visited him weekly.
As time went on Joseph’s behaviour began to change there was an incident where he broke his phone because he was playing football with it. And another incident where he turned the immovable tables and chairs upside down in the dining room whilst everybody was asleep. But as time went on incidents went from being funny to aggressive. When Joseph was granted leave for a few hours a day it was clear that he had started drinking again. Gone was my caring friend.
One evening it was clear to see that he was full of rage and pent up anger. There was no reason for this that anyone knew of. A member of staff said something to him that was taken the wrong way and Joseph became violent. It took five members of staff to restrain him and he was sedated. It was awful to see especially when I knew the real Joseph.
Unfortunately for people like Joseph and many others a psychiatric ward isn’t a place equipped to deal with addiction. He like many others were not getting the right treatment while in hospital and this would continue when he was discharged. Like so many others Joseph had been and will be in and out of hospital time and time again because he wasn’t getting the help he needed.
The Joseph I knew was such a genuine caring person but when addiction takes a hold of people they often become unrecognisable.
Leave a Reply