Sometimes as I sit and reflect on my day I get inspiration or ideas for my posts. This is something that I should have probably written about sooner. Maybe something that I should have actually realised sooner. But the person that has been most effected by my illness is my son Archie. He is only 8 years old but he is beyond his years which isn’t always a bad thing. However, I know that’s because he has had to deal with so much.
Last year when I signed out of life as a mum, daughter, granddaughter he did not ever complain. When I went out every weekend then too exhausted to spend any time with him he just got on with it. But despite all of that he still loved me with his whole hurt. I knew he deserved better but to him I could do no wrong because I was his mum.
When things got really bad and I ended up in hospital every single time we facetimed or saw each other he tried so hard to put on a brave face. He was 7 years old and he was trying to hold it all together for me. Every time I apologised for not being with him he would forever tell me it wasn’t my fault. It was my fault. I knew that. But despite everything I had put him through he still tried to make me feel better.
To think I was going to leave him in this world without a mum breaks my hurt. He deserves everything.
SinceI’ve been home he has been my shadow and my rock. Don’t get me wrong he is no angel and he knows how to push my buttons. But I said it when I found out I was pregnant and the fact still remains, he saved my life.
If I didn’t have him then I quite frankly would not be here. He is my whole reason. When days get tough and I feel like giving up he reminds me why I haven’t. When I don’t believe I’m worth fighting for I fight for him because he is. He is my greatest achievement in this life.
Children are so resilient and they aren’t always given the credit they deserve. But my God mine deserves a medal and I know he isn’t alone in that.
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