Why Is It So Hard to See the Good in Ourselves?

There are so many things in life we really don’t give ourselves enough credit for.

I’ll be honest — I’m one of the worst at this. I try so hard to focus on the positives, but I struggle every single time.

If you asked me to list 5 negative points about myself, I’d probably ask if I could include more than 5 because there are so many. Even writing this, I’m thinking: five? I could write a book. Maybe even a sequel!

But ask me to list 5 positives? Absolutely not. Even if something did come to mind, I’d immediately talk myself out of it. I’d start questioning: Do I really do that? Am I just making it up? And even if I knew deep down that I did, I still wouldn’t admit it.

And I know I’m not the only one. Most of us do this every single day.

Even when someone gives us a compliment, we can’t just accept it. Instead, it becomes: “Thanks, but anyone could do that.” Why do we find it so difficult to believe the good things about ourselves?

So today, I’m setting myself a challenge — to name 5 positive things about myself. I’ve already tried to talk myself out of every single one of them, but I’m sticking with it. And I want you to try it too.

Here goes nothing:

1. For the last 8 months, I’ve stayed and been present — even when my brain told me that most people would be better off without me.
2. I have a good heart. No matter what has been done to me or how I’ve been treated, if you really needed me, I would be there. Not because I’m a pushover, but because I know what it feels like to need help and feel completely alone. If I can stop someone else from feeling that, I will.
3. I still have a sense of humour. No matter how serious things get, I can make light of a situation. Sometimes laughter really is better than crying.
4. I’ve put myself out there and shared my struggles in the hope of helping others. This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because I’ve always hidden so much. But I’m proud of myself for doing it.
5. I don’t hold grudges. I don’t seek revenge or payback. I’ll forgive most things because everyone makes mistakes — me more than most. I may not always be able to keep someone in my life, but there will never be bad blood.

That’s my 5. And honestly? That was harder than I thought it would be.

Now, I want to challenge you.

What are 5 positive things about you? Write them down, say them out loud, or if you feel comfortable — share them with me. Because the truth is, we all have so many positives we rarely acknowledge.

It’s easy to criticise ourselves. It takes real courage to see the good.