It’s been a year since my life changed in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
This time last year, I didn’t plan on seeing tomorrow — let alone still being here a whole year later.
I’m not going to sit here and pretend my life is perfect now.
The Hard Truth About Surviving
Honestly? I still struggle more than I thought I would.
There are still days where I wish I wasn’t here.
Surviving has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do — and no one really talks about that. About how hard it is to live a life you didn’t want. About the heartache and grief that comes with simply staying alive.
Grieving the Life I Had
I’ve spent a year grieving the life I used to have. I still miss it sometimes.
I look back and wonder how I got here — how someone who once had everything so together could end up like this.
I was a teacher.
I had a big group of friends.
I had a social life.
Not long before, I was in a four-year relationship.
I was surrounded by people I thought would be in my life forever.
And yet when I look back now, I realise how much of a lie that life really was.
On the outside, I had it all together.
On the inside, I was completely broken.
What I’ve Lost — and What I’ve Learned
This year, I’ve had to come to terms with so much.
The job I loved showed me just how easy I was to replace.
Some friends? I haven’t heard from them since this time last year.
The rest — well, let’s just say I can count them on one hand.
My social life doesn’t really exist anymore.
And that relationship I thought was so genuine? It taught me that no matter how much you trust or think you know someone, they can still completely betray you.
The people I thought would be in my life forever — they’re gone.
Rebuilding from the Rubble
My life has fallen apart over and over again this year.
But here’s the thing: it’s also been rebuilt in ways I never could have imagined.
I’d burned so many bridges with my family that I thought could never be repaired — but they have been.
I never thought I’d have a relationship with my parents again. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I’m trying to be the mum that Archie needs and deserves.
I’ve learned to be honest.
I’ve learned to be thankful for what I do have.
Small Victories, Big Steps
I haven’t abused substances in a year.
I haven’t had a drink in ten months.
And I built What About Now? completely on my own.
I never could have dreamed it would grow the way it has.
Where I Am Now
So no — my life isn’t perfect.
I still struggle with pretty much everything.
But I’m also not where I once was.
And maybe, for now, that’s enough.
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