When I look back on last year, all I can really see is how many obstacles were in my way. Some of them were caused by me; others were completely out of my control.
When you’re living through something, it’s so easy to only see the negatives. For me, that meant the obstacles — and how close I came to defeat on so many occasions. I honestly lost count of how many times I tried to end everything completely.
And don’t get me wrong, I’m not out of the woods. But I know that I am trying. And even though I couldn’t see it then, I was trying back then too. At the time, all I could see was defeat. Looking back now, I can see resilience.
When I was discharged from hospital, I had no idea what lay ahead of me. I had absolutely no idea how hard things were going to be.
How I haven’t ended up back in hospital, I genuinely don’t know. There were times when my sanity was questionable, to say the least. Yet here I am — still alive and kicking — and that has got to count for something. In fact, it counts for everything.
So if you feel like you’re hanging on by a thread…
If you’re facing constant obstacles…
If you feel like you’re barely surviving…
Please remember this: the most important part is just that — you are surviving.
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