Something that I find really difficult to put into words is the times where I don’t feel anything – the times where I feel completely numb. Personally I have two emotional extremes, I either feel completely overwhelmed or I feel nothing at all.
I used to think that feeling overwhelmed was the worst thing in the world. This can happy to me with both positive and negative emotions but both can be just as detrimental.
When I am extremely positive and happy it’s almost as if I am waiting for that mood to crash. It’s like a high without the alcohol or the drugs and eventually I know that I will come crashing back down to earth with a bang.
When the overwhelm is fuelled by negative emotions I feel as though I don’t know what to do. In the past I’ve self medicated to try and escape these feelings but now I have to just ride through them. It isn’t easy and I don’t think it ever will be.
However, worse than feeling overwhelmed is feeling numb and I honestly never thought this would be the case. But knowing how you should feel but being incapable of feeling those emotions is honestly one of the scariest things. It’s an awful place to be and it makes you question everything you do.
Emotions or in some cases lack of emotions can be so scary but just know you are not alone in these feelings.
Leave a Reply